Sometimes Problems Can Be Solved Over the Phone A psychologistís office just east of LAXís runway
A psychologistís office just east of LAXís runway 27-Right. A phone rings. The caller is passed to o
JS: Nope, Doc, it’s Joe.
Dr. VH: Look, Sciulli, it’s a bad time. I’ve got 747s roaring 20 feet over my head, an appointment in five minutes for my daily shiatsu, and I need to buy Christmas gifts for 125 patients, except you. So make it snappy.
JS: JS: Actual turnover divided by optimum turnover divided by the occupancy rate, assuming you’ve done at least three or four survey passes of hourly intervals.
Dr. VH: Who do you think you are, Alex Trebec from Jeopardy? And the question is, “What did I do to deserve this today”? What are you talking about?
JS: When I was leaving your office last month, you said you wanted me to call you about the percent of optimum turnover formula.
Dr. VH: Oh, now I remember. My brain was completely overwhelmed by that parking rock star guy who followed your last appointment. OK, give me down-low on this formula. But tell me first: What’s it get you? What’s parking got to do with it? Hey, that could be a song!
JS: It was. Tina Turner, ’89: What’s Love Got to Do With It? All right, this formula lets you see whether your on-street parking regulations are well-suited to your adjacent land uses. You like those planner terms?
Dr. VH: Planners, shmanners, there’re all liberal scammers. Look, you’re saying this formula can help you analyze metered or timed parking regulations of different time limits to see how well the regulations are performing? And that maybe it even gives you a glimpse into whether your enforcement is sufficient, or the hourly meter rate is proper?
JS: Yo, Doc – you been reading Chapter 4 of the Parking 101 handbook by IPI?
Dr. VH: Every time I get insomnia. Which given my patient list is almost every night.
JS: No doubt. So by now you must know that turnover and time limits and rates and enforcement go together just like peas and carrots! Or like Batman and Robin, Fred and Ginger, Tom and Jerry!
Dr. VH: Listen, the only Tom and Jerry I want to think about now is that holiday drink with nutmeg and brandy, among other things. I saw Errol Flynn and Eleanor Parker drink it once in one of those holiday films from the Forties, Never Say Goodbye. By the way, that Tom and Jerry goes great with a shiatsu – oh boy, could I tell you some stories... hey, wait a minute – what about this parking indicator? What’s the scale, the metric, the normal range?
JS: Well, it’s a pretty wide range of normal – kind of like your parking clients. But results either below or above that normal range can help you improve your O-S-P-M-S-D.
Dr. VH: Say again, Tonto?
JS: On-street parking management service delivery! The art and science of fine-tuning your regs, rates and enforcement. It’s a beautiful thing, this parking management. It brings joy to the world, and in a certain sense, it keeps the traffic calm and the people bright, and helps brings peace to parkers and pedestrians of goodwill.
Dr. VH: I love the sentiment, but time’s up, Kris Kringle. Send me a fax on that formula, Sciulli, and maybe after I’ve held some meaningful discussions about it with Tom and Jerry during my shiatsu, I’ll give it a read. And Joe...Merry Christmas!
JS: Same to you, Doc. And to all, a good night!
A psychologist’s office just east of LAX’s runway 27-Right. A fax machine comes to life. Its output is placed in the in-basket of one Dr. John Van Horn, UCLA grad, Army veteran, and psychologist with a practice limited to parking industry types. A lover of Tom and Jerry, shiatsu massage, and after all is said and done, a pretty good guy. Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!
DATE: 24 December 2012
FROM: Joe Sciulli
TO: Dr. John Van Horn, Psychologist to the Parking Stars
SUBJECT: Percent of Optimum Turnover Formula
Seasons Greetings, Doc! Here’s the formula, but just one more thing:
Remember that all parking activity norms should be considered in their entirety when drawing conclusions about parking conditions and performance for the area being examined. The ranges indicated are not absolutes. And properly analyzing parking indicators requires a broad, not a narrow, view of all available information.