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Don’t Say “Alexa” in my Living Room

I bought an “Alexa” device for my wife for Christmas. She told me she was afraid to set it up because Jeff Bezos might be listening to our private conversations. I asked her why he would care about the stuff we talk about but she was adamant.

I had some free time a week or so ago and decided to set it up myself. (I found there was an on/off switch so if she wanted to say something private she could turn it off.)

It was easy to get going, sort of sets itself up, and hooks to your wifi. Then you are ready to roll. You start out by addressing it “Alexa” and it’s Cylon (Look it up) like ‘eye’ focuses on you and awaits your command. “Alexa play soft jazz.” Or “Alexa, order dog food for Suki” – I find that one particularly scary. There have been cases where someone named “Alexa” came over to visit and the homeowner said something like “Hi, Alexa, did you year Charlie Jones died. Let’s buy some flowers for Charlie’s funeral” and 200 bouquets were delivered the next day to the church.

I elected not to connect our newest family member to my phone. If you do, she will make calls and deliver text messages. I guess I’m just not ready for that. Now she is just used at the Van Horn manse for music. She’s hooked up to our stereo and to our Pandora account. She will play most anything.

You just must remember to use euphuisms when describing her within “ear?” shot of the device. If not, you could turn off the “Greatful Dead” at a critical riff by Jerry Garcia.

Alexia, Off –  I’m going to bed.

JVH

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